I just had the smackdown laid on me for using the phrase, "And the moral of the story is..." Now I can assume the dude is way better at English than I, or he doesn't know what in the heck he is talking about. Typically, when it comes to English, I think everybody is smarter than I. Regardless of whether or not I was wrong the issue is that I don't even know this dude. The first time we even exchanged pleasantries was after he slammed me, and called me Aesop. I didn't like it, even if he was right. The thing I hated the most was not that he made the criticism in front of people, but that he left me without the knowledge that I needed to not make the same mistake again.
I have a pet peave when it comes to leaders. If you see a problem, then refrain from making the criticism if you don't have a solution. There is a difference between offering criticism and offering a solution. We tempt people to be prideful when all we do is mention where they fall short. We inspire them to be different if we show them a way out.
So, now I'm pissed off because I don't know what I should have said. Now I'm going to go find this guy and figure out what in the heck I should have said, and then let him know the next time he offers criticism in a public and even humiliating fashion he better have a solution. Otherwise, he comes out looking like the jerk instead of the wise man.
I listen to leaders all the time who talk about substantial experiences with God that seem to fade away with time. But sometimes I come across leaders who put teeth into their experiences with Him, and it lights a fire under them that never fades..a fire that just gets stronger, more passionate and more fulfilling over time. I believe God is looking for people who take seriously their encounters with Him, responding practically and quickly…with faith.
The longer I lead, the more baffling it is to me why some people don’t respond to a prompting from God Himself. I’m talking about legitimate God-inspired whispers that line up with scripture and are processed in community. Why does one person respond to God and another put it off so long the urge to respond is almost indiscernible?
Let me ask you…if you had an encounter with the Holy God and you really believed He met with you and told you some things, why wouldn’t you sort them out with Him? Why wouldn’t you take action? If Warren Buffett called you today with investment advice, don’t you think you’d be inclined to take it? This guy’s the expert. You’d be a fool to ignore him. So why do we treat what the God of the Universe has to say so lightly? He is the author and finisher of our faith…the expert of all experts. And His plans for us are always good.
Why not take Him up on what He’s been whispering to you these days?
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#3 – Show Up
Here’s the deal about the house next door…the dudes working on it show up EVERY DAY…EARLY…and stay late.
Hey church leader…in order to build a home you need to BE AT HOME…period!
I know WAY too many pastors who let the expectations and demands of needy, clingy church people (notice I didn’t say Christians) DRIVE them to a place of insanity and burnout…and then those same church people will stand around his coffin and talk about how he should have taken better care of himself.
Too many pastors are at other kids baseball games and missing their own kids baseball game…this HAS TO STOP!
Guys…we’ve GOT to spend time at home…and NOT apologize for it. We’ve GOT to be with our spouse in order to work on the marriage.
My recommendation…ask her questions like…
Now…before I move on…let me deal with the nasty reason many church leaders don’t want to go home…
Because at home they are NOT “a rock star!”
You see, at church, at ANY size church, the pastor is “the man.” He’s respected and admired and often complimented by others. In many cases this can produce a false perception of power and control…and the pastor begins to think that everyone who sees him needs to bow and pay homage. (Which is something that needs to be repented of…they don’t serve us…we serve one another and we all serve Christ!)
Then he goes home…and his wife and kids just aren’t impressed with him. (Dude, your wife has seen you naked…there is ABSOLUTELY nothing about you that impresses her!) And…some guys can’t handle being the servant at home…they have to be “the man,” and that NEVER contributes to a healthy marriage.
One of the BEST things we can BEG God for is for Him to allow us to see ourselves through His eyes…which will not usher in feelings of pride but rather humility and gratitude!
The other day I spent hours in a meeting talking about campuses, budgets, traveling…all kinds of HUGE decisions that needed making. Then I left church and went home…where in less than five minutes I was wiping Charisse’s butt because she had just dropped a bomb! God uses things like this at times to remind me, “At the end of the day…all you are is a servant…and don’t ever forget it!”
Guys…guess what…we’ve got to see “butt wiping” as just as important as budgeting! We’ve got to see setting the table as just as important as setting up a service. We’ve got to see washing dishes as just as important as watching sermons on youtube! We’ve GOT TO BE THERE for our wife and kids…
If we’re not there for our family…satan will be…don’t let him lead what God has give you responsibility for!
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I've got a secret.
In every endeavor that I pursue, there is a point where it goes from good to great... but it has nothing to do with me. The tipping point comes when I find someone who is great at whey they do... and then I get out of their way.
It would be depressing if the outcome weren't so great. =)
We're nearing the end of first generation of mega-church pastors. And more and more, I'm hearing that as budgets and attendance are dropping, these leaders are tightening their grips. They're trying to re-engage the hell-bent spirit that grew the church at the beginning.
It's a shame because this chokes the spirit of the staff rather than releases it... which is the key to reinvention, creative solution and growth.
Is it possible that the church leaders have learned the first-half of leadership, but not the second half -- succession? Hmmmm.
Leadership Retreat is off to an unbelievable start! God is doing substantial work in the hearts of leaders, and our jaws are on the ground at what He’s poured into us already. I can’t believe I get to be a part of this. This morning we got to spend great time together really digging into what Pete brought us last night for the opening session. Here are 10 quotes that reoriented us as leaders…
1. We need to live integrated lives or people will follow us into disintegration.
2. God has a hand-crafted calling just for you.
3. We will be held responsible for the nearness & proximity we’ve had to Jesus.
4.Sometimes in the dead of night, a Leader’s YES has already turned the spiritual tide & has won the battle - even when it looks dark & bloody. It is already a win to God.
5. We don’t have a learning problem. We have an obedience problem.
6. As this next chapter begins, we are heading into a 4D Jump. How high, how wide & how long matter, but the controlling dimension will be how deep we go as leaders.
7. In high altitudes, leaders have to pay attention. Insecurity & pride can take you out. Toying with pride is like toying with crystal meth.
8. The number one reason people don’t live out the call of God on their lives is being casual with the work of God in them.
9. My life’s decisions impact thousands.
10. When God sees a leader, He sees HOPE.
I was very hesitant to share this post because, well…three reasons…
#1 – Anytime I talk about spiritual warfare it seems the crazies come out…the ones who see a demon everywhere.
#2 – A lot of questions come up…as spiritual warfare is one of the most misunderstood subjects in the church.
#3 – There are some who do not believe in spiritual warfare…and so when a person acknowledges it they are thought of as insane.
BUT…one of the reasons for this blog is to not only share what I am learning…but also what the Lord is doing in and around me. I've had some pretty significant experiences when it comes to spiritual warfare…and I don't talk about them a lot because I don't want to focus on the enemy…except for the fact that he is freakin DEFEATED and is going to go to HELL one day!
However, from time to time I think it is healthy to acknowledge that spirtual warfare is real…and the other night something happened in my house last week that proved to me that the enemy is angry…and that life isn't a playground…it's a battleground…
Lucretia and I were spending some time on the couch with each other and Charisse was playing in her play room (formerly my office downstairs.) We do this often on Monday and Tuesday nights so that she can learn that mommy and daddy have their time and she has her time to play.
After about 15 minutes or so, she became a little fussy and started saying, "mommy." We told her to keep on playing…but over the next few minutes she got louder and louder and was almost screaming. Lucretia looked at me at one point and said, "What has gotten into our child?"
Finally it got to the point where neither one of us could take it…so we called her in the living room and she was terrified. I asked her was she ok and she nodded her head no. I then asked her was she scared and she looked and me with really big eyes and nodded her head yes. Then I asked her what scared her and she said "a man in there" and pointed at the playroom.
At this point the redneck in me came out and I was ready to kill something…namely the freakin man in the playroom that had scared my daughter. I thought maybe a kid had came to the outside window and she had gotten frightened by that…so I picked her up and began walking towards the playroom…and as we were walking she squeezed me harder than ever before and closed her eyes really tight. She was genuinly terrified!
I asked her to show me where the man had been and she pointed to the place where she said she saw him. I asked what did the man look like and she said "black." Then I asked her was the man little or big and she said, "big…like daddy." Lucretia and I are convinced that she saw some sort of manifestation of en evil spirit…possibly even a demon. Like I said…she's NEVER been scared of anything…but that night she was terrified!
She didn't leave the couch for the rest of the night! I actually did go outside to see if anyone was around…or if anyone had been walking around in the mulch outside of the window and there was no sign of anything.
When it came time to go to bed we asked her was she ready for bed and she mentioned the man in the playroom one more time. We told her he was gone and that she didn't have to worry. Then we took her to bed and prayed with her and she went right to sleep.
I've always dealt with spiritual warfare on various levels…but this is the first time I believe the enemy ever came after my daughter (and I'm sure it won't be the last.) I feel like God is getting ready to do something huge in our church…and the enemy is trying his best to distract me and my family. The enemy is getting desperate…and so I am asking for covering from you guys like I've never asked before. Not just for me…but for 'Cretia and Charisse as well ('Cretia hasn't slept since this happened!) I've never seen Charisse like that…and we don't watch scary stuff around here…so I know she didn't just make it up.
AND…let me be clear about this…we're not worried. We know we are in God's hands…we know the enemy has been defeated…we know he can try to intimidate but the power of the LIVING GOD is on our side!
NewSpring…let's pray like NEVER before…let's INVITE like never before…and refuse to let the one who had the crap kicked out of him on the cross intimidate us!!!
WE WIN…let's live like it!!!
For the record, I'm a big fan of Hillsong. If you've been on my blog for any length of time in the past, you likely know I love sharing what's happening in their ministry particularly with their worship ministry. This post isn't about Hillsong.
That said, I've had the opportunity to travel to many different churches and conferences over the last several months. Here's what I'm beginning to wonder… Does anyone in the United States write worship music anymore?
Every place I go, it seems that I'm hearing the same music that was written by the folks at Hillsong. Don't get me wrong. It's good music. I have it on my iPod. I'm just wondering why it's the only music I seem to be hearing everyplace I go.
And, I'm not just talking about small churches here. I'm talking about very big churches too. They're the churches that you would think would have both the talent and the resources to be creating some of their own worship music. Why aren't they helping us sing a new song? [btw... There are exceptions like Lincoln Brewster, Kari Jobe, Israel Houghton and some of my other friends from the Integrity label.]
I'm just speculating, but here are some factors that may be contributing to this phenomenon. Hillsong…
Maybe there are other factors. Maybe the biggest factor is that U.S. churches see the success of Hillsong and think they're the church to copy right now. Whatever the case, it seems that we should be asking ourselves why so many churches are relying so heavily on Hillsong for the vast majority of our worship music.
Are there other barriers that are preventing U.S. churches from generating new worship music? Is this even an issue that should be a part of our conversation? Or, is this just a jealous rage because my wife seems to be smitten by guys with Australian accents?
What are your thoughts?
